1. |
Wondering
02:12
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Our last form of communication was supposed to be a letter
So I wrote it out, addressed it, realized it might be better
If I never and I mean never, never, never
Let you read the things I wrote down late in September
Cause part of it was so cold, I blamed you for all the fighting
When it wasn't all your fault, see I remember that night when
We're out your alma mater and I couldn't be calmer
'Til it came time for me to believe in karma
I just want to know how you've been
That's all I've been wondering
I see you from behind the screen
But that's not what I really mean
I want to know how you've been
It's all I've been wondering
If you could read what I wrote, please
It would mean the world to me
Basically grew up together, how fucking crazy is that?
Said we'd stay in love for ever both took that as a fact
But then life happened, we were basically a wrap then
You grew up and all I kept doing was rapping
All I cared about was metaphors, punchlines and flows
See I met her, 4 years later she walked out the front door
Cause I'm selfish, she would have stopped if I asked her to
But then I proved her right and did what selfish people do
I just want to know how you've been
That's all I've been wondering
I see you from behind the screen
But that's not what I really mean
I want to know how you've been
It's all I've been wondering
If you could read what I wrote, please
It would mean the world to me
You're probably graduating this year
That's always been my fear
You're too grown up to play my games
And I'm too stuck in my ways
To ever truly make amends
I know we'll never be friends
But you never said goodbye to me
Sincerely, Sorry
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2. |
Sleeping On The Couch
02:45
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Nights like these
Are so familiar to me
Where all I can see
Is a flat, white, expressionless, generic looking ceiling
And it's judging me
It wants to punish me
And if I see a gleam
It'll summon me back underneath it so begrudgingly
This is every night
It just doesn't seem right
I should put up a fight
It's become a pretty hazardous way to live my life
And I say I'll change
But I stay the same
It's all a game
I'm the winner and the loser; does it matter if I play?
If it doesn't and you promise me, I'll throw in the towel
No remorse, no regret, I won't hesitate or doubt you
Been wasting away days, prematurely in a grave
World's in a spiral, act like I'm not phased
On top of two pillows and forget eight hours
I'm not trying to feel the sun today, my skin is pale and now I
Want to stop acting like it's all okay
But I never grew up, how do I act my age?
At 18 I wanted to follow my dreams
At 19 I thought the world needed to be seen
At 20 I thought I had it all figured out
But at 21 I couldn't pull myself up off the couch
You tell me that I'm lazy
Yeah, you tell me that I'm crazy
I say it's just one of those days
That's going on for days
I have a fear of who I'll become this year
Cause at 22 things are just as clear
I'm starting to get all those familiar feelings
Afraid I'll always be staring at my ceiling
Looking for my future
It appears I'll be a loser
I've been living in small spaces, I've been sleeping on the couch
and I just, I just, I just got to get out
It's looking back at
And it's mocking me
It does it silently
And I ask "Why me?"
Why am I the one?
I don't find this fun
And I don't see the pun
This is my life and I feel like I'm being shunned
Like I did everyone else, I kept to myself
Said I hate them but being alone is hell
Misery loves company so come and party with me
The gangs all here and the drinks are on me
But this isn't what it seems, thought this is what I need
But it's not so I'll drive until the needle breaks E
If I'm one fourth of the soul of wit
Then why the fuck am I not clever enough to figure out this?
At 18 I wanted to follow my dreams
At 19 I thought the world needed to be seen
At 20 I thought I had it all figured out
But at 21 I couldn't pull myself up off the couch
You tell me that I'm lazy
Yeah, you tell me that I'm crazy
I say it's just one of those days
That's going on for days
I have a fear of who I'll become this year
Cause at 22 things are just as clear
I'm starting to get all those familiar feelings
Afraid I'll always be staring at my ceiling
Looking for my future
It appears I'll be a loser
I've been living in small spaces, I've been sleeping on the couch
and I just, I just, I just got to get out
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3. |
The Summer
03:22
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You came into my life abruptly one winter
We had already been friends but you were planning something bigger
Started saying that you loved me and I'm such a sucker for you
That I knew it wasn't real but I used it as a substitute
I needed the distraction was wrapped up in my past and
When you had came along that's exactly what had happened
My friends told me about your flaws but I chose not to see 'em
And all the things you said well I started to believe 'em
Even though I knew better but how could you blame me
See I knew that they were lies but they were comforting, strangely
You told me that you missed me, I knew that you don't
And then you told me that you'd see but I knew that you won't
You don't miss me I just remind you of home
You miss your friends and your family but apparently I'm none of those
So fuck what you told me, you swore that you'd always know me
But the sun shed some light on things that you'd never show me
You came down with the snow and I should have known
That as quickly as you came would be as quickly as you'd go
You left and impact, there's no denying that
But I've come too far for me to ever turn back
I followed every foot print in the snow but could this
All lead up to nothing, have I wasted my time since
All I have is wonder
And nothing left to follow now that it's the summer
The problem is when you're drunk I'm a great idea
But then when you don't send a message, well the message is clear
Yeah, at least it should be. I know how it seems
Because enough is enough but I won't admit defeat
If I don't get to you what does that say about me?
I never thought that my persistence would be what made me weak
But then it made me lose sleep, trying to follow your footsteps
Now they're all gone and I've got nothing left
Cause they gave me direction, the compass that I had
But it was leading me to something that I could never have
The illusion never went away, you're my mirage
You're my addiction, my muse, my fucking sabotage
And now the weather's getting warmer and the days are getting longer
And I'm still holding onto you like some type of fucking horder
It'll never work out, the taste you left in my mouth
Is no longer enough reason for me to travel now
You came down with the snow and I should have known
That as quickly as you came would be as quickly as you'd go
You left and impact, there's no denying that
But I've come too far for me to ever turn back
I followed every foot print in the snow but could this
All lead up to nothing, have I wasted my time since
All I have is wonder
And nothing left to follow now that it's the summer
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4. |
The Devil I Know
02:01
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Today is just like yesterday which is like the day before
And if that really is the case I should be prepared for what's in store
Laid awake so many nights and slept through so many mornings
Feels like it came out of nowhere but I just ignored the warnings
In reality, I hate what I've become
Because I became comfortable, then I just became numb
All because I believed what I was told
When they said "the devil I know is better than the one that I don't"
The devil I know
The devil I don't
The devil I know
But I could be the one, be the one to break the cycle
If I could just get up and get out of denial
Yeah I could be the one, be the one to let this go
But there's something telling me that I probably won't
Cause it's a habit. I'm addict, not for drugs, not for Captain
But for letting my motivation just shrivel up and then vanish
If I could I would attack, stand over it with a hatchet
But I'm afraid retaliation would put us both in a casket
So I'm staring at my ceiling wondering if I hit my ceiling
Wondering if this is all I got or do I have a greater meaning
And I never get to sleep cause I can't escape it's hold
Because the devil I know is stronger than the one that I don't
The devil I know
The devil I don't
The devil I know
But I could be the one, be the one to break the cycle
If I could just get up and get out of denial
Yeah I could be the one, be the one to let this go
But there's something telling me that I probably won't
So let me go, let me go, the devil I know
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5. |
Clocks
03:13
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I'm late, I'm late and I don't ever think I'll catch up
When all I hear is "tick, tock" and every time it's faster
I feel like Alice's rabbit, look at my watch then I panic
Thinking of all the things that I have to do left but time won't allow it
And time will devour now, there's nothing I can do about it
Lay atop my mattress and play the role of a coward
While the seconds turn to minutes and they're holding all the power
And I'm looking at my clock hoping it'll stop for a few hours
The hands keep going round and round and I'm here trying to figure out
Exactly how the fuck I'm supposed to keep up with these bastards now
Cause I've been spending my whole life running like a basset hound
My asthma's kicking in and honestly I feel like passing out
As my lungs fill up with sand believe me I understand
That I have to get up and run but I don't think that I can
Cause the finish line's no where in sight and I've been working at this all night
From the bottom half of the hour glass this might just be the place I (die)
Watch the clock move
And like a deer in the headlights I didn't know what to do
Was told this was growing up
Coming face to face with fears and proving to them that you're tough
But I don't think that I'm ready and I don't care what you tell me
Bags are already packed, consider me out the door already
And if you think I'm turning back I really wouldn't count on that
I'm about to go and do the only thing that I was ever good at
They told me not to play with fire, now I stand among the ashes
Wondering where my life would be if I had taken different actions
Thinking about mistakes I made and advice you gave I should have took
From the outside looking in, be honest, how bad does this really look?
I feel like shit, you see these bags under my eyes?
Well they're not quite designer but I think they look alright
Actually they probably don't, but I've become accustom to them
To the point where I don't know how I'd look if I were to lose them
Even if I wanted to, how would I go about it?
When getting sleep is so foreign I'd need a passport to allow it
Cause I spent two years at an institute of higher learning
Just to get a piece of paper to say that I am deserving
Of everything that comes in the higher end society
All I've gotten so far is this crippling anxiety
"Pick a major and a minor, tell what do you want out of this?"
Motherfucker I want out of this
I'm sick of staring at clocks trying to meet deadlines
When I feel like it just brings me closer to a flatline
Cause I became a slave to what others found important
Now there's no time in the day to do anything but forfeit
And watch the clock move
And like a deer in the headlights I didn't know what to do
Was told this was growing up
Coming face to face with fears and proving to them that you're tough
But I don't think that I'm ready and I don't care what you tell me
Bags are already packed, consider me out the door already
And if you think I'm turning back I really wouldn't count on that
I'm about to go and do the only thing that I was ever good at
And that's to run
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6. |
Middle Man
02:07
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I'm the time you spent studying to get straight A's
I'm not the reason that you work, just the bills that you pay
I'm the countless auditions that you did to reach fame
Not the straw that broke the camel's back, the one that caused pain
Not the record that went platinum just a week ago
But I am the first song of yours they played on radio
I walk my own path, I'll never be a sheep
Except the one right before the one you count to fall asleep
And as I lay awake I think I might believe in fate
Cause it's train coming in and it's never been late
You can say that I'm dumb or that I caused this to come
But I'm just too old to give excuses like "we were young"
And all this time I've been pushing my luck
Onto the very people I thought that I could love
And when I drive you away, you'll end up the same
Cause I'm the step right before the step that you want to take
We never work directly, I'm just the middle man
Between you and life's big riddle and
I understand that this is working out for you
But I've been hoping that my luck is gonna run out soon
I'm the quarter that you use to scratch your lottery ticket
Who's coming in the nick of time cause you were 'bout to get evicted
The record that you play for it's warmth, that's me
But it's just so much more convenient to get the MP3
The Playstation 2 had all your favorite games
But the graphics on the 4 are completely insane
I'm the ball that you hit a thousand times in the cage
So you can get the winning hit when you played the big game
And as I lay awake I think I might believe in fate
Cause it's train coming in and it's never been late
You can say that I'm dumb or that I caused this to come
But I'm just too old to give excuses like "we were young"
And all this time I've been pushing my luck
Onto the very people I thought that I could love
And when I drive you away, you'll end up the same
Cause I'm the step right before the step that you want to take
We never work directly, I'm just the middle man
Between you and life's big riddle and
I understand that this is working out for you
But I've been hoping that my luck is gonna run out soon
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7. |
The King of Dock Street
02:08
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For two years we've been steadying making tunes
But for the first two years we didn't know what we were doing
Got our first couple plays and were over reacting
Thought I'd be famous off recordings from my bedroom like Kardashians
But that didn't happen so I went back to rapping
Always talking about myself though I swore that I was snapping
Always saying "I, I" like I'm talking to the captain
I'm coming full force on this next one though
I'll be the last remaining talent behind a microphone
With a flow so tight never coming out the pocket
I got golden fucking bars like I locked up King Midas
When I speak to you I stress, what you got inside your chest
Doesn't paint the whole picture, a four chamber silhouette
See we both do this in vain
We just spell it different ways
Cause you do this for the fame and I do this for the game
I wanna put on a good show, you're just looking to get paid
So your drums are all triggered, man go figure
Producer did all of the work he should just be in the band with ya
You're all just like Instagram girls in my eyes
Those angles look good and you got some people mesmerized
But we both know that's not the same thing you get live
So this right here will be my last will and testament
So when I die take everything I have and bury me with it
If it ends up in your hands you'll be shocked at what you see
You'll be so confused asking what does genuine mean
It isn't your fault, you've been fed so much nonsense
That being generic is the only thing that makes sense
So the problem isn't with you, it's the one on the throne
So like a spoiled child, the problem starts at home
You won't be happy 'til this scene is obscene
John almost missed his plane cause you think you're the king of Dock Street
But we all turned down the crown, I wouldn't even be proud
We never even went that hard and we have your attention now
So we hit the ground running, gonna take it all over
And only call the kids we want like we're playing red rover
And Snape's answer to "after all this time?"
Is an idea for how long this reign will really be mine
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8. |
Just Like Me
02:49
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Nobody is perfect
Yeah, yeah I can say it all I want, it doesn't change the fact you're hurting
And you don't deserve this
Yeah but my reoccurring actions make you think that I prefer this
You told me that this is it
Yeah but I have a hard time believing you, doesn't seem feasible
Judging by your past it doesn't seem like something you would do
Strong enough to fight 'til forever if you had to
Back against the ropes and you made it to round 2
You scraped and you scrapped I heard every single story
You embraced the hate and then you turned it to your door key
It's hard to admit that I was wrong about you
So wrong about you
Yeah it's hard to admit that
I didn't realize you needed water to live
I didn't realize you gave everything you had to give
My whole life you were standing on your feet
How was I supposed to know that you were just like me
With flaws and weaknesses and things that made you human
I thought you lived without them like you had always proven
So I took advantage and lived the way I planned it
Not thinking about anyone and taking you for granted
I'm walking 'round here thinking I'm the man then
You finally broke down and I did it single handed
You told me that you would never trust me again
But you did and I gave you a reason not to trust me, again
You said The Boy Who Cried Wolf was the story I was raised on
And that a big heart was the thing in which I prayed on
You said it's so typical of me, so common
To look you in the eyes and tell you that I promise
Yeah I promise, yeah I promised
And I lied and I'm sorry, at least now I'm being honest
I didn't realize you needed water to live
I didn't realize you gave everything you had to give
My whole life you were standing on your feet
How was I supposed to know that you were just like me
I didn't realize, I swear I didn't realize
That I was just like you and you were just like me
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Brevity New York, New York
Pete's a little hip hop. Pat's a little rock and roll, John's a little grunge. Doug is a little better at his instrument than the rest of us
All social networks: @brevityNYC
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